Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
