I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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