There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
