there's paper in my vomit.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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