im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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