My pussy is not your playground.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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