How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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