i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
