You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
