he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize