When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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