is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Fuck appropriateness.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
