You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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