why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
