We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize