I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
