Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
