I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
