I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
As shirtless as possible
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
