She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
