whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
