are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize