I am puke
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
