you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
