He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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