So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
