we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
