But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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