Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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