Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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