Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
