So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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