I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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