So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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