But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
