i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
