omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
