They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
