Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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