if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
