Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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