He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
