I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
