YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
