I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize