Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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