Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize
