the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize