Umm I'm too high to move.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
