Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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