Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
