Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
