last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
