with your own penis?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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