He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
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