yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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