She said her name was "party"
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
