Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
