All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Randomize
