i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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