You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize