The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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