Barsexuality is the new black.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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