you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize
