What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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