I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize