I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
