What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
