time to smoke my breakfast
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
