I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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