so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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