Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
